Presence v Presents

There is no greater measure of an individual than one who gives selflessly to others. Christmas is a wonderful symbol of this selfless giving, a celebration of the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, an enlightened being who practiced and taught service to others. Eventually he would give up his life so that others might see and understand that sometimes we must relinquish the self so that we may help others on the path.

Jesus said, “He who has a mind to understand, let him understand.” (1)

It is through understanding the needs of others that we come to understand our essential nature, which is communion. Human beings were not made to live in isolation from one another. If we isolate our hearts from others, then we come only to think of the self as an island that must be protected at all costs. And even if each one of us is an island, it is through our words and deeds of merit that we create bridges between these islands of the heart so that we may see our similarities and understand that we are all one.

In the Western world, Christmas continues to symbolize the act of giving, (which is communion,) though it has been substantially minimized to an act of giving material objects. In my mind, this is perhaps one of the greatest ironies in the history of humanity: how the teaching of “selfless giving” has been diluted, through the filter of consumerism, into an act of “selfish getting.”

There was a commercial running on television last Christmas which perfectly captures this idea. It is Christmas day, or perhaps even Christmas Eve. Everyone in the family is so happy right now, for they are standing around the Christmas tree waiting to open their presents. Mom and Sissy and little Brother are each holding a brightly wrapped gift in their hands. They are smiling gleefully, barely able to contain their excitement. “Can we open one now?” they cry out happily. “Not until we visit your grandmother,” replies Dad. And off they go to grandma’s house. In the next scene, they pull up in front of grandma’s and stop to look at her standing on the front porch, waving at them from across the snowy yard. “Well, we’ve seen grandma,” chirps Dad, and then they drive off, excited about getting home and opening their presents. Now understandably this is a commercial ploy to get us excited about how wonderful those gifts are from that particular retailer. And they do have great stuff, no question about it. But there is a dark undercurrent here, and if we are willing to look closely, we will see it. What this commercial seems to be telling us is that our personal desires should be more important than the needs of others. Did you notice that Grandma was standing alone on the porch? Where is Grandpa? In the beginning of the commercial there is only mention of Grandma. From this we can easily deduce that she lives alone. Maybe she and her husband are divorced and the family must split their holiday time between both of them. Maybe Grandpa died some years ago and now Grandma lives alone in this big house. Can you imagine her pain and loneliness? Can you imagine how happy it makes her to know that her family is coming to visit her on Christmas, one of the bleakest of all times for those who live alone? What a great gift she is being given this Christmas, which is her family’s presence in her life. How wonderful! How joyfully Christian! But then, but then they drive off. “Is this some kind of joke?” she asks herself. But as she stands there watching them disappearing down the street, she realizes that they are not coming back. How dreadfully awful! To do something this terrible! And selfish! To a loved one on Christmas!

Now, I’m not trying to say that this commercial is representative of all of us, for there are many who give selflessly, even flawlessly of themselves, who hold their family and friends, even the rest of humanity, in the warmth of their bosoms. Nonetheless, it does exist, wherever we look these days; an indictment of the culture in which we live. One thing many of us have forgotten (and believe me, I don’t blame anyone for it,) is that we lose our hearts when we lose ourselves to desire. Desire is not a bad thing, either. As a matter of fact, it is a most wonderful thing! It is through our desires that we seek to discover truth, beauty and goodness. Imagine what the world would be like if Jesus or Buddha or Lao Tzu decided that they had no desire to show humanity the truth of itself. Imagine what the world would be like if Monet had not the desire to capture on canvas the endless variations of light he saw in the things of the world. My God, imagine what the world would be like if Shakespeare decided that desire was too boring a subject to write about! Imagine! Imagine! Imagine! I’m sure you get the point. But desire is desire and very often turns into obsession; and when it does, it leads into the labyrinth of our minds, and we become lost in the endless drama of what we want and don’t want. As you probably know, there was another great teacher of truth and compassion that taught us to keep our eyes open to suffering, not to run from it. What was it he said? That our suffering comes from wanting the things we don’t have and not wanting the things we do have? Well, that sounds about right, doesn’t it?

Personally, I know this for a fact, having caused myself, my friends and loved ones pain more times than I would like to admit, because I was not present for them, let alone myself. This was because I fell too much in love with the fictions that I was spinning around inside my head: endless visions of my self, the questing hero of my dreams, destroying that which he found too painful and hording that which gave him so much pleasure. Of course, there were also times that I gave my loved ones my full attention, being completely there for them and me. And the wonder is that those were the loveliest, the most beautiful, and the most precious moments of my life. Examples abound: sitting on a hill side in Bill’s back yard in autumn, watching the dance of fire flies in the grass, the air and trees; helping Patrick build the bonfire for Guy Faux Day on a cool winter day; practicing Tai Chi with John and Ashley in the park, our bodies moving with grace through the warm spring air; meditating with my daughter in her back yard on a humid summer evening; running my hand down a woman’s back, loving the contour of her manifest soul; all the great conversations I have had with so many people over the years; watching my son tattoo a dragon on some guy’s back; watching the birth of my children; being with my Dad when he died. You see, these are the moments when we effortlessly forget our desires and quite simply become who we really are—beings in communion with the present moment. Yes. These are the moments in which we willingly relinquish the self, that island we spend so much time defending from the imagined onslaught of others.

Jesus said, “…and my desire has been ended, and ignorance has died.” (2)

I bet you’ve never heard Jesus talk like a Zen Master, have you? Well, there you have it. And when Jesus spoke of desire, he was not speaking of the wonderful things that desire can bring, but of the terrible things that desire so often leaves in the wake of our lives. And when he spoke of ignorance, it wasn’t about being stupid. Duh! Read his words again: and my desire has been ended, and ignorance has died. He is telling us that ignorance is about living in darkness, because we have been blinded by our desires and endless dreams. If we are willing to risk the pain of being present our lives will become filled with an aura of authenticity no words can ever explain. Desire will drop away and we shall become awakened from the darkness of ignorance. But I’m sure you know this. Just think of all those moments in your life when you released your ego and became the moment. Can you remember a few of those moments, right now? I’m sure you can. And wouldn’t it be wonderful to have those moments all of the time?

“His disciples said to him, ‘Show us the place where you are, since it necessary for us to seek it.’
“He said to them, ‘Whoever has ears, let him hear. There is light within a man of light, and he lights up the whole world. If he does not shine, he is in darkness.’” (3)

You may be saying to yourself right now, “Well, that’s pretty cryptic!” And I would reply, “Stop thinking!” Does this comment surprise you? Well, don’t let it. Very often our thoughts get in the way of our vision, of how things really are. You see, what Jesus is saying, as I interpret it, is that when we are present with the world we shine like the world, and when we lose ourselves in the objects of our desires, those brightly colored pretty presents that we confuse for the world, we lose ourselves and thus we lose the world. After all, what other place do we have but this world to live in, this magnificent, wonderful world which causes us to experience so much joy and sorrow?

But how do we find this world, how do we appreciate its often mundane nature, how do we go about living in it authentically and with presence?

There are many paths to this end. We have discussed many of them over the years, haven’t we? And they all work, if we would just let them. But before we chose a path to tread, I truly believe that we must begin “by recognizing what is in our sight.”

Jesus said, “Know what is in front of your face and what has been hidden from you will be revealed to you. For there is nothing hidden that will not be made clear and nothing buried that will not be raised.” (4)

From the Gnostic Gospels:
(1) The Gospel of Mary Magdalene, Chapter Four, number 29
(2) The Gospel of Mary Magdalene, Chapter Eight, number 22
(3) The Gospel of Thomas, saying 24
(4) The Gospel of Thomas, saying5

HONORING THE BODY

Ken Wilber has written that we are so out of touch with our bodies that meditation teachers often begin with mindfulness of the body as a way to help the new practitioner reconnect with her/his self. It is, after all, our physical form that allows us to experience the world in which we live. Through our five sense organs—ears, eyes, tongue, nose, and skin—we are able to navigate our way through the physical universe and enjoy the ever-shifting display of energy expressing itself in multitudinous forms. It has been said that it is the body that carries us (our sense of self) so gracefully through our lives—the holy chalice without which we could not exist. It is interesting to consider that we take our bodies for granted, suffering the illusion that the “I” is ever-changeless, that we confuse immortality of the soul or the sense of the permanence of the self with our bodies, a physical structure prone to sickness, old age, and death. Some of us use our bodies as repositories of the foulest substances because it is through these substances that the brain, part of the body, is lulled into a somnambulant opiate-like experience of happiness and release. And there are those who neglect their bodies through lack of exercise, improper diet, or ignore the body when it signals that it may need the care of a physician. Finally, there are those who treat their bodies with the utmost respect, honoring it for the wondrous vehicle that it is.

Let us briefly examine these three modes of existence and see where they may lead.

Although alcohol and drugs create a sense of release and happiness, a higher sense of consciousness, ultimately we are lead astray by the dreams they create—a sense of emotional well being that is more ephemeral than a wisp of smoke. Such products ultimately destroy the body, the vehicle necessary for emotional and spiritual transformation.

Similarly, when we do not take care of our bodies through lack of use, ill use or over consumption, we weaken the vehicle, draining it of the energy needed for the hard work of evolving into a higher self.
In either case, mindfulness is extremely difficult because of the fog of inebriation or the lack of energy inherent in a weakened body.

It is through mindfulness of the body, the sensory system manifested for viewing the wondrous display of the universe, that we discover truth, beauty and goodness.
By honoring the body, through moderation or renunciation, through impeccable diet and exercise, we increase the energy for the work that needs to be done, as well as refining the body system so that we can better experience the gift of the physical universe that flows around us and through us, ultimately offering us the window to the sublime.

Additionally, reconnecting with our bodies is very important in that it can be our best teacher when contemplating impermanence, the irrefutable truth that nothing ever stays the same. Can you remember the body ten years ago? Is it the same body? Is your sense of suffering or pleasure the same then as now? Is your relationship to your body the same then as it is now? Do you understand your body; do you know its needs? Through our realization of impermanence, we come to a greater appreciation of the wonder of life and all of its dynamic systems, including the human body—your body.

Love it for what it is.

Without the body, you are as ephemeral as a wisp of smoke.